To: Beard To Tail Restaurant
Dear Heroes,
A short while ago I was wondering around the #R3D market in the sun, hoping to find something to satisfy both my ferocious appetite and desire to be outside in the sun. After decided against joining the horde of hungry hipsters conglomerating around the beef burger stand, I ventured towards your pulled pork slider stall.
This could prove to be the best decision I have made all week, as the very polite gentlemen served not just one, but two whole pulled pork sliders for a mere £5! Not only is this glorious value for money, but the slightly spicy and titillatingly tasty meat with pickle combination made every inch of my oesophagus happy as it passed deeper and deeper inside my body. I was so compounded with smug satisfaction at having discovered such a delight, that I felt compelled to share the experience with my colleague Jonathan, who described your slider as a ‘lovely porky treat’. You can use this phrase on all your future advertising if you wish; I promise I won’t prosecute.
I instantly decided that I had to have Beard to Tail in my life on a more permanent basis. As I am supposed to be training for a 13 mile run and supposedly on a diet in order to rid my body of some of the more unflattering flab extensions that have been taking residence around my waist lately, I cannot possibly make Beard to Tail pulled pork sliders part of my everyday lunch activity. I am afraid that I am trapped in a seemingly endless salad trap, of which today’s escapade was a beautiful but temporary escape. This leaves me with the only option left to me; I have to sell you something. I don’t really mind what, but as I work for an IT company it would be useful if it were to be something IT related.
Can you please buy something from me, so I can say that my life in some way is involved with Beard to Tail and your delicious Pulled Pork Sliders? I will tell all my friends and it would likely be the highlight of my month. My company sell telephone systems, mobiles, printers and data services. All of these are fundamental instruments required to produce a pulled pork slider and will be extremely high priority things for you I am sure.
I await your reply with much excitement.
Kind Regards,
(a very satisfied and full) Robert
The Derp of a Salesman 